he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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