Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
