i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
