Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
