we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
