ADVERTISEMENT

• (212): View more from New York

  Your dad touched me again.

  Fav 31 2508 24453

  share tweet
  

• (630): View more from Illinois

  She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.

  Fav 12 5980 853

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?

  Fav 6 5561 1630

  share tweet
  

• (859): View more from Kentucky

  there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context

  Fav 4 2674 1232

  share tweet
  
• 

  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (716): View more from New York

  she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper

  Fav 28 6114 1679

  share tweet
  

• (281): View more from Texas

  Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning

  Fav 10 1331 1042

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (312): View more from Illinois

  That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.

  Fav 22 1775 1050

  share tweet
  

• (631): View more from New York

  he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him

  Fav 15 2379 1331

  share tweet
  

• (309): View more from Illinois

  He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?

  Fav 5 712 2060

  share tweet
  
• 

  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (252): View more from North Carolina

  The band last night was really good

  (1-252): View more from North Carolina

  That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.

  Fav 2 1233 535

  share tweet
  

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.

  Fav 13 726 993

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (317): View more from Indiana

  i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage

  Fav 3 946 517

  share tweet
  

• (208): View more from Idaho

  I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.

  Fav 1 633 377

  share tweet
  

• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.

  Fav 4 420 800

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (360): View more from Washington

  Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking

  Fav 1 195 272

  share tweet
  

Randomize