Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
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Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
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At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.