piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just invented taco cereal.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?