Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.

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(949): mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday. http://tfl.nu/tvnz

Replies (38) Good night (646) Bad night (4280)
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(614): View more from Ohio

So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night

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(614): So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night http://tfl.nu/bxgc

Replies (13) Good night (6601) Bad night (683)
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(512): View more from Texas

He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.

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(512): He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests. http://tfl.nu/eem8

Replies (20) Good night (2074) Bad night (5118)
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(631): View more from New York

I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude

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(631): I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude http://tfl.nu/oumf

Replies (12) Good night (1739) Bad night (3514)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided

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(609): Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided http://tfl.nu/mbmq

Replies (6) Good night (4948) Bad night (1788)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic

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(202): I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic http://tfl.nu/pd64

Replies (12) Good night (1425) Bad night (4396)
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(248): View more from Michigan

i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia

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(248): i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia http://tfl.nu/d416

Replies (7) Good night (1539) Bad night (4355)
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(804): View more from Virginia

Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting

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(804): Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting http://tfl.nu/9m8j

Replies (5) Good night (4011) Bad night (1103)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.

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(717): DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!! (717): Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly. http://tfl.nu/0dyl

Replies (22) Good night (1548) Bad night (3358)
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(626): View more from California

I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for

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(626): I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for http://tfl.nu/u8ph

Replies (4) Good night (1318) Bad night (572)
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(+27): View more from South Africa

I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.

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(+27): I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth. http://tfl.nu/8fby

Replies (7) Good night (830) Bad night (1246)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.

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(724): I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now. http://tfl.nu/lvrq

Replies (5) Good night (2187) Bad night (583)
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(937): View more from Ohio

I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant

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(937): I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant http://tfl.nu/spdi

Replies (10) Good night (1235) Bad night (405)
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(585): View more from New York

seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs

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(585): seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs http://tfl.nu/iszo

Replies (5) Good night (602) Bad night (219)
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(613): View more from Ontario

When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos

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(613): When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos http://tfl.nu/lfoe

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