she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.