Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

where are you?

(914): View more from New York

in the room with the baby pig

(804): View more from Virginia

k im coming soon

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(804): where are you? (914): in the room with the baby pig (804): k im coming soon http://tfl.nu/ccxr

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.

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(570): If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning. http://tfl.nu/0ep2

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(509): View more from Washington

Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint

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(509): Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint http://tfl.nu/0n30

Replies (10) Good night (1183) Bad night (4556) Order T-Shirt
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(615): View more from Tennessee

good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.

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(615): good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car. http://tfl.nu/bhcd

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.

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(860): Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise. http://tfl.nu/z4y1

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(518): View more from New York

...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.

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(518): ...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified. http://tfl.nu/6dxz

Replies (7) Good night (2191) Bad night (897) Order T-Shirt
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series

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(402): Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series http://tfl.nu/c4pq

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(260): View more from Indiana

People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them

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(260): People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them http://tfl.nu/5lb9

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(270): View more from Kentucky

You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..

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(270): You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it.. http://tfl.nu/hsv3

Replies (2) Good night (1704) Bad night (457)
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(519): View more from Ontario

he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him

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(519): he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him http://tfl.nu/dkoo

Replies (3) Good night (1123) Bad night (534) Order T-Shirt
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(505): View more from New Mexico

I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.

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(505): I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking. http://tfl.nu/gybt

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(760): View more from California

It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect

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(760): It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect http://tfl.nu/8hkz

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(205): View more from Alabama

Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.

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(205): Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink. http://tfl.nu/5avj

Replies (5) Good night (765) Bad night (333)
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(224): View more from Illinois

Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.

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(224): Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test. http://tfl.nu/65e0

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(434): View more from Virginia

It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.

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(434): It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually. http://tfl.nu/a0fb

Replies (2) Good night (385) Bad night (164) Order T-Shirt

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