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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"

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• (347): View more from New York

  Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.

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  Dude, you're not even gay.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.

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• (239): View more from Florida

  Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.

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