over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
