Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
