think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
