if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
