i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
