i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize