there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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