Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
