omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
