What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
