Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
