I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
