Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize