last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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