Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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