Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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