its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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