we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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