I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
