Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
