btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
