party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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