The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
