this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
