When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
