Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
