I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
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Is my lip ring still in your hair?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
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Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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