My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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