Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
