her vagine was all disorganized.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
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