theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
