I hate your face
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
