You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Your tits are I can't wait for
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
