so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
