I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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