Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!