Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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