He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
