so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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