You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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