i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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