am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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