The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
