New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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