Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
