Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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