You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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