Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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