I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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