I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
