i jhust puked up my retainher.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
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Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I intend to get homeless drunk
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
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Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???