You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?