Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
