from now on my penis is your penis
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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