forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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