she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
