Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize