I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
