he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
